life outside of God

I also during this time was laid off from my job and started a partnership with someone who is not serving the Lord. I had two children and became indebted to several banks. I started to drink alcohol occasionally and I started to look at pornography - which didn't make my wife that happy. I was honest to her about everything but that did not make things any better. I stopped seeking the Lord and was disobedient about the things that I felt He was telling me to either do or not do. So now I am at the bottom or close to the bottom as far as my spiritual health is concerned and I am going keep a record of how things change or stay the same in my life.