The Purpose

I have been really feeling convicted lately about my lifestyle choices and about the 'amount' of God that I am allowing into my life. Several days ago it hit me that I have been reading my "Runner's world" magazine very religiously for a long time. In it are outlined the steps to take when training to run my best race. There are also many articles about elite runners and their training programs and the sacrifices that they have made to become the elite. I realized several days ago that if I want to run the Christian race I have to train. If I want to be elite I have to train harder than everyone else. Which requires greater sacrifice.
I decided that I would apply the same priciples of training for running to seeking the Lord and His purposes for my life. I have only ever wanted to serve the Lord, but have been so lazy and unfaithful. Today I am making the commitment to start training for the Christian race.
A long time ago I asked God what the verse "many are called but few are chosen" really meant. I felt, as I was going through this realization about my life, that many are called but God cannot use people as effectively if they are not prepared. So I need to prepare myself to run the race.

Ouch!!!

One whole month has gone by since the last post. I don't feel as though I have made any more progress toward my relationship with God. I am stagnant actually floating down stream. What do I have to do to see a change?

what does it take?

Today, I was talking to someone who has recently been divorced. I tried to encourage her by telling her about the good things of God. I didn't say but I wanted her to spend time seeking the Lord and to wait for Him to comfort her. Which I believe will happen if she seeks the Lord. So why can't I make myself do the same thing? I know that God will answer me and save me out of all my trouble. Why then can I not seek Him as I know I should?

I have noticed a change in me though. I have been more in love with my wife. I have been happier. Even after that one day of praying I feel the effects until today. Maybe tomorrow as well.

I found a website that has worship music on it. You should listen to it!http://uneditedworship.com/

"Tenderize my Heart" is my favorite so far.

It's a New Day

This morning I woke at 5:30 am. I had just finished having dream that my wife had given me something like a calling card. She gave me one that would let me use a cell phone and one that gave me access to pray to God. After I awoke, I remembered the dream. I felt like I should get up to pray. I spent time this morning for the first time in what seems like years praying to my Lord.
I had been feeling like I did not see the relevance of God in life today. There is a verse in the Bible that says, "As much as is possible live peaceably with all men." I realised today that that peace comes from the Lord. Today. I had a song in my heart all day. It was a pleasant change.

What next??

I have not really read my Bible since starting this. So I have not really moved toward the hoped for ending yet.

I did read one thing though...Matthew 17...Jesus tells Peter to go catch a fish and take a coin from the fish's mouth to pay the temple tax. It gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe He would do a miracle for me.

Today, I received info about a job out west. It would mean that I am away from my wife for at least 2 months. I don't know what to do. That is actually why I am writing now. I couldn't sleep. This is something that I wanted to pray about tonight but that has not happened yet and I am starting to get tired. I will pray though. I have to.

There are so many things going on right now and I don't know what to do about very many of them. I have a matter of days to hear God speak to me about moving out west. I just don't know what to do about my wife and the kids.

my favorite Bible verses

II Peter 1
II Corintians 3
Matthew 15
Jude
Ezekiel 3:8,9
Psalm 17:15

life outside of God

I also during this time was laid off from my job and started a partnership with someone who is not serving the Lord. I had two children and became indebted to several banks. I started to drink alcohol occasionally and I started to look at pornography - which didn't make my wife that happy. I was honest to her about everything but that did not make things any better. I stopped seeking the Lord and was disobedient about the things that I felt He was telling me to either do or not do. So now I am at the bottom or close to the bottom as far as my spiritual health is concerned and I am going keep a record of how things change or stay the same in my life.